So relationships aren’t easy in any way. There will be tough times of course. Little spouts between lovers is not uncommon. .Couples disagree, no relationship is just smooth sailing. But what if those tough times aren’t for the better? What if those tough times are only foreshadowing an ugly demise?

In pop culture today we see a glorification of dysfunctional relationships. Toxic relationships have become habitual in modern culture. Movies, Television shows, and even social media have construed what it means to be in a healthy relationship. Some people might say that these things aren’t “real”, but that does not mean that it does not leave in an impression on you. We are always subconsciously soaking up content, good or bad. With too many #relationshipgoals posts and glorification of unhealthy relationships, there’s no surprise that it can be hard for us to identify our own messes.

The only person that can get you out of a toxic relationship is yourself, which is hard because half of the time we are unaware of the toxic energy in our lives. Here we take a brief look at some of the toxic relationships we have been exposed to through the entertainment medium. This is only part one.

Baby Boy: Yvette and Jody (Ride or Die) 
Baby Boy. A black film highly regarded as one of the best black films of the last decade. Baby Boy follows the life of Jody, a misguided black man who is plagued with issues from the hood and turbulent relationships with his babymamas. Throughout the movie we see Jody sleeping with his other baby mama, among various other woman while in a relationship with Yvette, his main chick/babymama. Jody felt that it was OK to sleep with other women because Yvette was his “ride or die” chick. He was the only woman he ever truly loved. It was acceptable for him to cheat on her as long as he knew where home was. Yvette knew of his cheating but still stuck around in hopes that he would change. She was the sole breadwinner of the house. He used her car, ate her food, and soaked up the free living arrangements. Rightfully so, she wanted to be his one and only. She deserved it. In one of the most notable scenes in the movie, Jody hits Yvette after she questions his whereabouts.

Yvette questions Jody responds to Yvette by straight up telling her that he loves her but fucks other girls from time to time and he doesn’t know why he just does it. My reaction:

This scene made me question a lot. Most guys I talked to about this scene said that Yvette shouldn’t have gone asking questions she wasn’t ready to hear the answers to. If you love someone you’re supposed to tell them the truth. I get that. But if you were really loved a girl you wouldn’t want her having sexual relations with anyone else but you can? The emotional, physical, and mental abuse of these scenarios are not worth the “love” you think you’re getting. A man who truly loves you will not want to ever be attached to anyone else. Jody realizes this towards the end of the movie. Yvette and Jody get married and await the arrival of their new born baby. Baby boy finally grew up.

Gossip Girl: Chuck and Blair (One True Love)
“Gossip Girl here, your one and only source to Manhattan’s elite.” Gah, I know that line by heart. Let me start off by saying that I am a huge fan of Gossip Girl. I’ve seen all seasons! Hell, I even re-watched them and read all the books. Chuck & Blair, Chair, Bhuck, whatever you want to call the duo, were inevitably the favorite couple of most GG fans. The drunken rich boy with issues who falls in love with a preppy, wise control freak. Throughout the shows entirety we saw Chuck and Blair manipulate, humiliate, and straight up fuck each other over in the name of “true love”. There was never an easy road to love for the two. Blair lost her virginity to Chuck in the back of a limo while she was still getting over her ex Nate, who happened to be Chuck’s best friend. So from jump, shit was a mess. Were Chuck and Blair passionate lovers? No doubt. But when does passion become unhealthy? Here is a clip from season four of the show. Blair comes to Chuck to tell him hat she’s marrying Louise and that she didn’t want to be with him anymore:

Chuck could never tell Blair that he loved her. He was too broken to admit it but in this clip Chuck believes in a sense that he “owns” Blair. She belonged to Him. How dare she marry a good man and not continue to play cat and mouse with me? Literally throughout the GG series Chuck and Blair were never on the same page. When she was ready, he wasn’t and vice versa. I can’t lie I’ve found myself swooning over playboy Chuck as well. I used to think that it was OK, maybe even a little exciting, for certain things to go wrong in a relationship but it isn’t. (Note:Chuck and Blair eventually got married and had kids. )

Jersey Shore: Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola & Ronnie Ortiz-Margo (Explosive Love)
“RAAAAAAHHHHNN STAHHHP”
Jersey shore was such a fucking show! I mean what the hell happened to reality TV? Everything is so scripted nowadays but on the Jersey Shore it was real and raw..maybe a little bit too raw especially when it came to cast mates, Sammi and Ronnie. Sam and Ron began their love tryst during season one of the popular reality show. Starting a relationship in an environment with booze, wild girls, and partying is tempting for any relationship. With that being said, Ron ended up cheating on Sammi at the club one night which caused tensions in the house to run high. But in my opinion, their relationship would have been dramatic whether Ron cheated or not. The fighting between the pair became a normal part of living in the Jersey Shore house. (I actually visited the house once! So cool)

In one particular episode, tensions between the lovers hit an all time high. The night of the fight, Sam got mad at Ron for flirting with another girl at the bar. When the group got back to the JS shore house Sam told Ron that she was leaving the Jersey Shore for good. So, he packed her shit. Ron took it upon himself to throw her clothes from the closet onto the floor of their room. That set it off. Below is a clip of the dreadful encounter:

Sam punched run in this clip and that is NOT OK. It doesn’t matter that she is a woman, violence is never acceptable, especially towards people you’re supposed to love. Not only was there physical abuse but there was verbal abuse as well. In the clip Ron There was also verbal manipulation as well. Sam repeatedly asked Ron ” Do you want me to leave?” But Sam, you were the one who said you wanted to leave??! UNHEALTHY! The jealousy, manipulation, and undeinable passion between these two lovers was enough to ruin their relationship. After the show ended, the two continued with their on and off relationship for two more years. Their latest reconciliation was reported to be around March 2016. Maybe these two lovers can one day work since they are past their reality TV days because that didn’t make the relationship no better

The fact of the matter is that unhealthy relationships make good TV. I hate to admit it but it does. When you watch a show, you root for your favorite couple, hoping that they stick through it till the end despite challenges. They say we accept the love we think you deserve. So i ask you, what is the love you deserve? Look out for pt.2 as I continue to assess toxic relationships in pop culture. Godspeed.

-Endia

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